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Poorly Cooked Eggs

Eggs are a very specific discipline. Good eggs are hard to do. They require lots of experience and a sincere love of them. I have neither.

When I was first starting out in kitchens, my chef had told me that they were going to move me from prep cook, to the breakfast chef. I was SOOO excited! I could not have been happier. I was moving up in the world, in one of the hottest restaurants in San Francisco! My chef's face dropped, as he realized his joke hadn't worked. Apparently, breakfast chef is a solitary, hard, fast and thankless job. My chef assumed I'd be upset by this news, but ... I wasn't! He had to backpedal, and inform me that I wasn't going to be the next breakfast chef, but ... instead would be the new pizza guy. Yay! I love pizza!

To this day, I still wish I could go back to that moment and request that I be the breakfast guy, anyway. I've never EVER felt comfortable with eggs. My omelets are always overcooked. I can't poach an egg to save my life. I'm ill equipped for even the most basic balanced scrambled eggs. What's worse, in my breakfast artillery ... My pancakes are always misshapen. My stuffed French toast, while delicious, often has those weird lingering egg dangles. My muffins, cinnamon rolls and hash are all pretty good, though.

Anywhoo ... I present to you ... Poorly Cooked Eggs! Truth be told, I eat this at least once a week. It's very fast, incorporates just about anything you could ever want (it's the breakfast/brunch equivalent of "stir fry"), it's a "one pan meal" and it's always delicious! If I were to serve this at a restaurant, I'd be sure to be fired for my browned overcooked eggs, but ... this is MY house now! I love 'em like this!

Poorly Cooked Eggs are a little more than a blend of cream, eggs, salt and pepper. Cut some cheese into little cubes. Set all of this aside. Then in a non-stick pan, sauté some stuff. I usually do some kind of meat and veggie combination. Asparagus, Ham and Cheddar is what's seen in the photos, but bacon, chicken, ham and sausage are all commonly used. As are peppers, broccoli, zucchini, mushrooms, tomatoes, onions and garlic. Finally, some provolone, swiss, cheddar, parmesan, and even some goats cheese ... all great options! When you've sauted your meat and veg, and everything is cooked nice and lovely, add your eggs. Cook them to your desired doneness. Then, at the last minute, throw in your cubed cheese and any interesting fresh herbs you may have lying about. Toss, toss, toss. Serve!
Prep Time15 mins
Cook Time10 mins
Total Time25 mins
Servings: 6 Servings
Calories: 789.69166666667kcal
Author: DJ Foodie


  • 12 large whole eggs
  • 3 cups cream heavy whipping
  • 1 tbsp butter
  • 1 bunch asparagus tough stem ends removed, then sliced into little ¼ inch rings
  • 1/2 lb ham cubed
  • 1/2 lb cheddar cheese cubed
  • salt and pepper to taste


  • Place a large non-stick pan on the stove, over medium-high heat.
  • Whisk together your eggs and heavy cream. Add a touch of salt and pepper. Set aside.
  • Add butter to the pre-heated non-stick pan.
  • Quickly add your asparagus and sauté for 2 minutes. Season with a little salt and pepper.
  • Add your ham and sauté for a further 2 minutes.
  • Add your egg mixture and let sit for 1 minute. Then, with a wooden spoon or heat resistant plastic spatula, stir the eggs. Let sit for another minute. Repeat this process until the eggs are cooked to just under the desired doneness.
  • Add your cheese, and stir the eggs. Let sit for one minute.
  • Serve!


Serving: 6g | Calories: 789.69166666667kcal | Carbohydrates: 7.1533333333333g | Protein: 25.095g | Fat: 73.788333333333g | Fiber: 0.84666666666667g