Servings: 20 Prep: 15 mins Cook: 30 mins Total: 45 mins
I’m not going to sugar coat this one, my friends. These brownies sucked. What follows is intended to provide a chuckle, perhaps with a very mild point (but probably not).
I knew I had a full day of making all desserts, all day. So, I invited several people over, to help me consume all the tasty treats. These brownies sat quiet and alone, while the rest of the mouthwatering goodies were devoured. These brownies looked good! They definitely appeared delicious. The batter was AMAZING. If you ever need a sugar free, all natural brownie batter fix … this is the way to go. This brownie batter was phenomenal! When I put the spoon in my mouth, I was transported to that place children go when their mother hands them the gooey whisk full of cookie batter, right as the rest of the cookies go in the oven. My eyes rolled back into my head and I was a 7 year old boy, completely thrilled with my batter. I had no doubt that these brownies would win awards.
The batter, my compadres, was a lie. A facade!
There are many competencies that I have. I can dream all sorts of flavorful and interesting dishes in my mind, simply by combining a variety of flavorful ingredients with a blend of interesting cooking techniques. I can almost always kind of totally trust the end result will be to my satisfaction, sort of. On very rare occasions, I stumble and make something less than tasty. More often than not, it’s wonderful and good as, or better than I’d hoped!
Baking, on the other hand, is more about ratios, reactions and science. It’s about leavening power (the “rise”), the order the ingredients are added, the mixing and blending process and the final structural integrity of the ingredients. Baking is a lot of formulas. When the formula is off, the end result is usually way off and cannot be salvaged. A sauce, on the other hand, can be manipulated all day, without much thought of adherence to a strict recipe.
Baking is all about the perfect execution of the formula.
I am a solid baker, when it comes to wheat flours. I understand gluten and how it works. I understand the leavening agents. I understand sugar melting and liquefying within batters, as it baked. I understand all of that. However, in a world without wheat, sugar or gluten … well … all of a sudden … the world has changed. I don’t know which way is up! How do these things work?! What are they supposed to do? Will it deflate? Will it rise? Be chewy? Will it be dry and brittle? Will it absorb moisture? What in heckfire is going on with these things?!
I knew I wanted to make brownies. I wanted to make them sugar and gluten free. I wanted them to be dense and moist and chewy. I wanted AWESOME brownies. I set to figure out the quintessential sugar free, gluten free formula. I looked far and wide, and combined all of my newfound knowledge into this here recipe. Oops, I think I had a typo, somewhere!
“Why am I even showing this recipe?”, you might ask. Partially, because the batter is so good. Also, to shed a little light on the frustrating transition to a new way of thinking. Some information translates and some, frankly, doesn’t. Finally, I’m also curious if anyone has any insight what went wrong. Why was this a bizarre cardboard brick? It was the strangest texture. Dry, but not totally brittle. Airy, but far from light. Full of chocolate and almond flavor, but somehow incredibly bland, at the same time. I blame the coconut flour, personally.
I can only describe the flavor as … “disappointment”.
Embarrasing Note: After writing this whole diatribe, I just tried to more thoroughly dissect my notes, and I’m 98.6% certain that I misread my own recipe. I think that if I had used 1/4 cup coconut flour and just 1/2 cup of almond flour, that this recipe would’ve been awesome. 3/4 of a cup was the “total” amount of nut flours … not “each”.
I’m going to go hide, now.
Coconut-Almond BrowniesPrint Rate
- Pre-heat oven to 325 F.
- With an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar equivalent, until it has a white "whipped" look.
- With the mixer running at a slow speed, add one egg at a time.
- Combine all the dry ingredients in a bowl. Mix them well.
- Add the dry ingredients to the mixer. Mix until just combined.
- Grease a standard casserole dish (9x13).
- Pour the batter into the dish. Spread flat into the pan.
- Place periodic spoonfuls of the almond butter into the top of the brownie batter. You want "spots" of almond butter.
- Bake in the oven for 25 to 30 minutes. Remove when a toothpick comes out dry.
- Cool on a cooling rack.
- Cut and offer to someone with whom you still hold a grudge.
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