Doughnut Worry. Be Happy! (A Donut Fiesta!)

Mmmmmm … Doughnuts!!

I have a weird and lightly deceptive relationship with doughnuts. I don’t eat them anywhere near as often as I claim I do. I also claim to love doughnuts, but I don’t. Not really, anyway.

See? Weird and deceptive.

Maybe 5 or 6 years ago, I took a trip with a couple of friends to the East Coast. We travelled around upstate New York, Massachusetts, Vermont and New Hampshire. I attended college in this area, so it was kind of a reunion of sorts.

One new addition (new to me, anyway) to the North East is the shear ubiquitousness of Dunkin’ Donuts. Not only are there a lot of Dunkin’ Donuts, but they’re inside grocery stores, malls, gas stations, airports and more. If my eyes were open, I was likely looking at a Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s not as if I was looking for them, mind you. I tried NOT to find them, but then I felt very aware of how much I was trying NOT to look at them, and it seemed as if more and more appeared. I tried to turn my head and look away, but then my sight would simply settle in on the other Dunkin’ Donuts, across the street. Durn Dunkin’ Donuts!

As a general rule, I eat quality nutritious foods. I eat the recipes from my own website, or I eat foods that fall within those guidelines. Holidays, periodic planned meals out and travel, however… I allow myself some indulgence. The trick is simply to get back to good habits, the day after. “Planned” cheat day, being key.

Dunkin’ Donuts was open 24 hours a day and was invariably across the street from any hotel we’d stay at. Let’s just say… I ate a doughnut or two, during that trip. Occasionally, in the wee hours of night. Slowly, this idea that I love doughnuts started to bubble up amongst those of us in the car. It became a running joke.

I blame the convenience of it all, but… some of them were quite tasty!

Truthfully, when I’m not on a road trip in the North East, I actually eat very few doughnuts. However, it’s become my code for friends and family. When I’ve indulged, and I have that foggy-brained, puffy-eyed carb hangover, I simply tell people I’ve had some doughnuts. They know what I mean, even though it’s highly unlikely I had any actual doughnuts. I probably had a few tacos and an horchata, but that’s another story, for another time.

The reality is, doughnuts are awful. They’re the worst. They exist atop the peak where sugar, starch and unhealthy fats convene at the top of Mt. Unwell. They’re the perfect 50:50 blend of fat and carbs, which makes them terminally desired and unquestionably tasty. Even a bad doughnut is going to tickle the ol’ fancy.

And, because these typically fried rings of yeasty wheat dough are so infinitely enticing, companies have taken doughnuts well outside the stratosphere, making brilliant rainbow unicorn doughnuts, giant doughnuts, fruit glaze stuffed doughnuts, doughnuts topped with candy, doughnuts topped with cookies and breakfast cereal. Heck. Doughnuts topped with doughnuts! The doughnut food category is very probably the single most indulgent category there is. I’d be hard pressed to think of one even more over-the-top. Honestly, I’m not so much a fan of the wackier flavors, but it’s fun to look!

Sheesh, as I’m writing this, I’m very worried I’m romanticizing doughnuts out loud. If I am, I don’t mean to be. They’re awful! They are full of sugar, so they will trigger a massive insulin spike, which will stash all those calories on your rear for a future day of famine. As if that isn’t bad enough, they’re high in unhealthy fat (as opposed to good clean healthy fats). They’re additionally calorie dense. That’s that much more extra energy stashed on your gut for the starvation that your body is preparing you for.

Our bodies are designed to seek out nourishment, to keep us alive. We seek energy. Doughnuts contain instant energy, and then some! Our bodies believe that it’s evolutionarily advantageous to indulge in doughnuts!… 7,000 years ago, in the time before time. Our bodies don’t know that there’s a Dunkin’ Donuts on every street corner in Quincy, MA. It just knows its job is to stay nourished and alive. Doughnuts have the perfect make up of survival food!

I think I might be doing it, again.

DJ! QUIT IT! Doughnuts are terrible. They’re bad for your teeth, your heart, and your gut. They’ll trick you into eating more and more until you’re bloated on the couch watching WKRP in Cincinnati reruns, but you can’t pay attention to Dr. Johnny Fever because your mind is soblotto. And, they actually don’t taste very good. They’re all synthetic, process and colored with unnatural agents. Bleh. Pooey!

Doughnuts bad. Stop daydreaming!

Or… are they? Can they be good? Is there a way to enjoy a doughnut without tearing it all down?! Any good alternatives?!!?

Below I share my answer to the doughnut. In short: Yes! It’s possible to enjoy a doughnut without breaking the carb bank. Huzzah!! I knew it!

Doughnut Fiesta!

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2018 Keto Bundle

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This is a Test

And, finally, before we get to the doughnut fiesta, I’m curious about something. As much as I focus on keto, low-carb, primal, grain-free, sugar-free, yada yada yada, I secretly really care more about cooking, cooking techniques and giving people the confidence to get in the kitchen and cook up some tasty goodness! If all I ever do is just give specific recipes, I’m just giving step-by-step instructions to follow.

What I’m wondering is: I took the batter from Maple Bars, and folded a squished slightly underripe banana into it. Then, I made pancakes with the batter. Then, I layered the pancakes with the Strawberry Chantilly from the Chocolate Doughnuts. Then, I threw a couple shaved almond on there. YUM!

Without my giving you a detailed recipe…

Donut Worry.  Be Happy!

Well, could you? Email me. I’m curious!

Finally, to the Doughnut Fiesta!!!

Orange-Buttermilk Coffee Cake Doughnuts with Hazelnut Streusel

Let’s face it. These doughnuts are lies. They’re not really doughnuts. They’re muffins that are disguising themselves as doughnuts. Or, they’re coffee cake, disguising themselves as doughnuts. I mean… they don’t even have coffee in them!

In all seriousness, when I think of doughnuts, I typically think about a… More >

Orange-Buttermilk Coffee Cake Doughnuts with Hazelnut Streusel

Chocolate Doughnuts with Strawberry Chantilly

It seems like a lot of people draw a hard line in the sand and say things like, “I only eat natural!” or “I only eat organic!” or “I’m a vegan!” or “Help, help, I’m a banana!”.

I’m not that strict. I warble. I tilt to one direction or another… More >

Chocolate Doughnuts with Strawberry Chantilly

Mini Maple Bacon Bars

A few years ago, I went to Portland, Oregon and attended an Organic Farming conference with some friends. I was living in Seattle at the time and was able to pop down for the weekend.

As much as I love a good doughnut, I consider them to epitomize junk food… More >

Mini Maple Bacon Bars

Take a look at my books!

The Fakery

An Easy Guide to Grain-Free Quick Breads

The Fakery (Easy Guide to Grain-Free Quick Breads)

Taking Out the Carbage

AKA The Big Book of Bacon

The Fakery (Easy Guide to Grain-Free Quick Breads)

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