DJ Foodie’s Funtastical Holiday Gift Guide

It’s that time of year, again!  Have you done your holiday shopping?  Got any tough people to grab goodies for?  It can be a challenge to match gifts to their recipients. I know, for me, lists like this one really help stir the creative pot!

My approach to health and way of eating isn’t always strictly focused on “eat fat | avoid carbs”.  Granted, those 4 words present 80% of the picture.  It’s the other 20% that all those giant complex book and dietary program blather on about.  Details matter!  Diet is a major element, but sometimes nutrient density and variety play a role.  Sleep plays a substantial role.  Hydration is important.  Relaxing and minimizing stress all go lengths towards building health, happiness and slowing age.  Exercise and regular movement is all also very important!

Today, I’m presenting a colorful list of options, all focused on various forms of health.  I also tried to keep it fun, because … what fun is a funtastical list without the fun?!

Note: I’m showing prices on this list, but prices can and do change with time. Consider the prices listed here as approximate, not absolutes. Happy Shopping!

$1 to $20 USD

$8.50 (per flavor) – Flavored Sugar Free Syrups

I’m a MASSIVE fan of these syrups and use them for a substantial variety of treats. I’m sure I’ve got a good 12 flavors in my cupboard, right now. Not only are they great in coffee, but they make fantastic Italian Sodas, they boost flavor and sweetness (without adding carbs) to homemade ice creams, gelatin wiggles and more. I bake the syrup in muffcakes, whisk into custards, drizzle into tea and so much more. I would be tickled to open a variety box of these tasty syrups!

$10 – Keto Chocolate Chip Fudge Brownie Batter

I admit I’ve never tried this one, but … I want to! The ingredients list contains only good things and the combination between prebiotic fiber and allulose suggests it’s got some of that moist chewiness which can be so hard to find in sugar-free chocolate treats! Throw a big of this in someone’s stocking for a great big chocolatey smile!

$10 – OXO Good Grips 3-in-1 Avocado Slicer

Avocados are incredibly healthy, a great addition to many different foodstuffs and recipes, they’re colorful and popular. They’re also a bit on the trying side, if you want to get in there and fetch out some slices. I’m quick to slice into an avocado, pit it and fan its slices, but even I’ll be the first to admit my approach is a twinge on the dangerous side. Something like this smart plastic tool will pry out the goodness, in no time!

$10 – SmartBuns

You know the phrase, “Anything that seems too good to be true … usually is.”? Any bread product that purports to be zero net carb gives me pause. In truth, the buns are mostly air and mostly made from various fats, proteins and fibers. I’m confident a small amount of carbs are in there, but zero probably isn’t too far off! Because I’m a born skeptic, I tend to save these for special occasions, but I almost always have some in my freezer and break them out for BBQ’s. There’s no meaningful difference between these and the real thing … and they don’t even cause me cravings!

$11 – “Bring me some bacon” Socks

I can’t imagine I have anything unique or special to add here. This is a perfect product.

I own a dozen pairs.

$13 – Keto Nut Granola

I typically make my own granola blends, but I have no doubt that if this were in my cupboard … it wouldn’t be there for long! I always love a big bowl with some chilled almond milk, a small cloud of smappy and a dash of salt. It’s gone long long before it has a chance to sog!

$15 – Personal Ice Crushing Raspberry Blender

So many blenders are big. With today’s popularity of the ginormous Vitamix, it’s nice to see something a good deal smaller and restrained. Perfect for the post gym protein shake, this colorful, personal, inexpensive and purple-y blender checks all the right boxes!

$15 – Allulose Chocolate Chips

I haven’t seen any good low-glycemic sugar-free chocolate chips in a good 5 or 6 years! ChocoPerfection used to make them, but they were discontinued. With the growing popularity of allulose, it’s looking like chocolate chips are making a comeback. I’ve seen these, as well as KNOW FOODS brand (currently out of stock). Usually I just chunk up a chocolate bar, but true authentic chips? Mini-Kisses?! Yes, please!

$15 – Stuffed Burger Press

Who doesn’t love to bite into a burger and experience an upside surprise? It can be tough to stuff a ball of ground meat without leaks, schplooing beef-juice-infused melted cheese and other fillings all over the place. This allows for perfect form, denser packing and tighter seals. Pepperoni, parmesan and tomato sauce? Bacon, Cheddar and Mustard? Peanut Butter and Jelly, even?! Ok, that last one is nonsense, but seriously … think of all that could be done!

$19.96 – The World’s Strongest Coffee

I have never been a morning person. I think it stems from years of getting out of work after midnight and rolling out of bed, around Noon. I’m simply wired this way, now.

Speaking of “wired” … The Jolt Cola of hot beverages!

$20 to $50 USD

$23 – Sugar-Free BBQ Sauce

Like most condiments, they’re simply loaded with sugars. It can be a challenge to find something that tastes great, but without the big hit to blood sugars that most BBQ sauces can bring. Welcome to the Guy’s BBQ Sauce Sampler! Perfect for a big bowl of pulled pork, coleslaw and hot link!

$23 – Charcuterie: The Craft of Salting, Smoking, and Curing

This is one of the coolest books there is. This book is all about the preparation, preservation and presentation of different meats, through salting, smoke and curing. This is an incredible and historic art. Anyone with an even passing interest in real food would cherish this book. It’s the real deal (for your meal!).

$23 – Vegetable Spiralizer

Here’s a fun one! Take vegetables and turn them into squiggles! Get some nice bone broth, some shredded chicken and a bunch of squiggloodles and … down the hatch!

$24 – Slate Cheese Board

If you’ve got any kind of gathering (New Year’s, anyone?), you can load up this stunning slate colored stone age slate board. Mark down the different types of cheeses, charcuterie slices, sauces, dips, tapenades and more. An elegant and rustic way to present your Paleo vittles!

$26 – Long Sleeved Bacon Shirt

I’ve never seen a more perfect representation of pure romance on a t-shirt. It’s clear from the expressions on their faces that it’s eternal love, everlasting.

*SLURP!*

If this isn’t just adorkable, I really don’t know what is!

$26 – 6-Pack of Salted Pumpkin Seeds

My local CostCo used to carry this and I would buy a bag or two, every single time. They’re perfectly salted, immaculately textured and go down the gullet smooth. In fact, if I had any complaints about them, it’s that the bag was near impossible to put down. Might as well just tie it around my face like a feed bag!

Maybe it’s a good thing that CostCo stopped carrying them. Whew!

$26 – Moon Cheese

I fell into a weird pit, when it comes to these things. They are INCREDIBLE. The texture is positively delightful. The taste and deep and scumtrulecient. When they’re around, I eat them, then I order more … and eat those. Then, I order more and eat them. Then, I long for more. It’s a vicious circle. I finally had to put a rubber band on my wrist and snap myself every time I thought of Moon Cheese.

The snack I hate to love!

$27- Beef Jerky

I fleepin’ lurve beef jerky, but I find so many of them are loaded with all kinds of voodoo-ery, not the least of which is all manner of sugar. Here we have a tasty, minimal and zero carb beef jerky.

Yippee Ki Yay!

$34 – Bone Broth: Variety Pack

A good bone broth heals. A great bone broth heals and tastes great!

This assortment comes in a few different flavors. They’re perfect, as is, for some wake-me-up juice in the morning, or use them as a base for different soups and sauces! I would pull together the most fresh and funky Pho with the Lemongrass Ginger Pho! Chipotle been? So many options! Tumeric Ginger? Get outta here!

$39 – Butter Churner

I’ve never used this, but it looks very cool. If I had a big ol’ Walnut desk, I’d want this as a desk ornament. I have every confidence I’d use it once, to churn butter. I’d love the experience. I’d tell everyone I know about churning butter. I’d slather it all over one of my baked treats. Then, I’d just let it sit on my desk looking like a strange steam punk power generator.

$45 – Parchment Paper

Maybe it’s just me, but I LOVE parchment paper. I have a big box that sits on my fridge. I’m sure I use a sheet a day, on average. I buy the big sheets and simply cut out the shape I need for whatever project I’m working on. Nothing sticks to it, it’s easy to fold, cut, shape, spray, bake, cover, etc. So many uses and such a versatile tool.

Granted, it’s just a big box of paper, but … as boxes of paper go, this one is the best!

$49.99 – Hamilton Beach Flip Belgian Chaffle Maker

It seems like everyone is on the Chaffle craze.

Here you can give the gift that keeps on giving … Chaffles!

$49.99 – Keto Krate

This one is a little different, as it’s a subscription service. For about $50 a month, your recipient will receive about 10 interesting snacks, as well as a recipe, a success story, maybe a discount of some kind, etc. All kinds of things can arrive, from cheese crisps, to jerky, to chocolate bars, sauces, spreads, fat bombs, spice blends, cookies, drinks, gels and so much more. A near endless variety of treats!

If you’re really looking to spend some money, you can always double up and drop about $100 a month, while tripling the snack output! Not a cheap option, but a fun one and one I’m certain someone would cherish!

$?.?? – Spa Gift Card

A big part of a healthy lifestyle is rest, relaxation and stress relief. Going for a massage, or any kind of self-care pampering service, is more than just a pleasant time. Releasing tensions can help every aspect of health, including breaking through a stall. Sending someone a gift card for a spa service is sending a gift of health.

$?.?? – Etsy Gift Card

Etsy seems to have a wildly eclectic mix of handmade everything, at just about every price point. It’s almost like the anti-Amazon, in that just about everything has been lovingly massaged into existence by its sole creator.

My suggestion is an Etsy Gift Card, followed by a note pointing people to Shannon’s Sugar Free where you can grab one of her tasty treats. I’ve ordered many times from Shannon and I remain baffled by how she does it. Some of the best of the best of the best sweet treats there are!

$?.?? – ketoFRIDGE Gift Card

I’m constantly seeing comments and requests from people for services, restaurants and to-go type joints that specialize in Low-Carb, Keto and/or Paleo foods. Many medium to large sized cities have these kinds of things (do a search in the area for your gift recipient). There are also online services that will literally mail food to you. Just heat and enjoy!

There are a few of them out there. Do some searching to find a menu that suits you, but ketoFRIDGE seems to have the best reviews. Someone will LOVE this!

$50 to $100 USD

$52 – “The Maverick“ case of Ice Cream

Anyone that’s spent time on my blog knows that I LOVE ice cream and have made hundreds of different flavors. As much as I love to make my own blends, some of the time, I can’t help but want to simply reach into the freezer and pull out an effortless pint.

Order an assortment of flavors for a loved one!

$52 – A Case of Chocolate Bars

I have personally never tried these bars, but they’re highly rated and I’ve had hundreds of people suggest, request, review and mention the Sukrin brand to me. Like most, I’m a creature of habit and tend to just love the things I love, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know about Sukrin, their popularity and their reputation for goodness!

$68 – A Case of Miracle Rice

I’ll be the first person to admit that a freshly washed hot bowl of plain Miracle Rice is like spooning a mouthful of tiny soft bland oogies into my face. It’s a bizarre, disappointing and lackluster experience.

HOWEVER!!

It makes an AMAZING bulking agent in other rice-like beds of rice! My personal favorite is combining Miracle Rice with Cauli-Rice, a twinge of Quinoa and some Toasted Coconut. This blend calls for curry and other tropical stews and soups to be poured all over it. The Miracle Rice simply disappears into the background, adding bulk and fiber, drastically dropping the net carb count and truly allows the other ingredients to shine. Such a stealth ingredient. Dare I say … A MIRACLE!!

$70 – Massive Super Body Pillow

To my mind, this is one of the strangest items on this list, but “Body Pillows” are massively popular. 10’s of thousands of votes on upwards of millions of these things have been sold. This is the most highly reviewed, by the greatest number of people. It’s gotta have merit!

It’s a giant memory foam pillow with “Kool-Flow Breathable Cooling Hypoallergenic Pillow Outer Fabric”. While that’s a big ol’ mouthful, I can’t help but want to spoon with the darn thing. I tend to run hot and some nighttime Kool-Flow sounds positively delightful!

$70 – Jumbo Japanese Mandolin

This is one of my most absolute favoritest slicing tools. The reason for highlighting this specific one is … its width. So many slicers either dull too quickly, arrive dull, have weird “add-ons” that just get in the way, etc. Most are also far too narrow.

This one will hold its edge for eons and is wide enough for onions, eggplants, jicama and more.

A GREAT tool for any kitchen. Just please please be careful. Use the guard. These things BITE!

$80 – SNOOZ White Sound Sleep Aid

A consistent stretch of deep, unbroken, quality sleep is not only positively delicious, but it’s another boost to overall health and happiness. It reduces stress, can help promote memory and focus, it helps to lose weight, can lower blood pressure, boosts mood and more!

The gift of better sleep … is just about anyone’s dream!

$95 – Chef Knife

This is my knife.

I bought this knife in Vail, CO almost exactly 22 years ago, just before beginning a job at The Lodge at Vail. I have lots of other knives, including several chef knives, but this is the one I always reach for. It holds its edge forever. It’s lightweight and well balanced. Granted, it takes a while to adjust to the smaller handle, but it’s worth the struggle. In 22 years, no other knife has carved a new niche in my heart!

$100 to $1072.51

$130 – Fitbit Versa 2

I LOVE the idea of something watching me sleep. When I was heavier, I had a pretty nasty case of sleep apnea and had to use a CPAP. Very few things are as sexy as a fidgeting fat man in a CPAP mask. In order to determine the root of my sleep issues, I had to do a test in a sleep lab. This was intimidating, embarrassing and expensive.

With this tool, I can learn LOADS about my sleep patterns, the data of which I can use in innumerable ways. Plus, it’s got Alexa, weather, heart rate counter, alarms, timers, track calories, number of steps and so much more. It’s like a Fitbit, but … better!

$135 – Foot Massager

As someone that hikes a lot and knows what it can do to feet (widening and flattening them, for example) … I would LOVE to come home to this silly foot rubbing contraption.

I’d set it on the floor, kick back on the sofa, slide my feet into its interior, then lie back, eat bacon and sip green tea while drifting off into a state of bliss.

$145 – TRX All-in-One Training System

I can typically tell how well a fitness element works by how much I hate it and I LOATHE the TRX straps. They move around and wiggle and throw me off balance. They’re impossible to work with and I forever feel inadequate when I’m defeated by these dumb yellow straps.

That said, I get results. They force balance and all kinds of resolve to work around my muscle confusion. I actually have them in my car and attach them to the bumper or the rack on top and do a routine, before hitting the trail up a mountain. They’re lightweight, versatile, punishing and can be used to work just about every muscle group. This is a serious piece of equipment!

$230 – Ice Cream Machine

As stated before, I love ice cream. I love making it, I love sharing it and I thoroughly enjoy eating it! I have all kinds of weird routines built up around my ice cream passions. Going on 10 years of eating low-carb, you’d think I’d chill out on the ice cream, but … nope! I still make a good batch every week. I just pulled out a batch of Cherry Cheesecake, with little cubes of Baked Cherry Bread.

The great thing about this particular machine it its capacity. Most home style, compressor-based ice cream machines are 1.5 quart. This beast is more than 2 quarts … or over 1/2 gallon of ice cream, per batch! This is like 8 to 9 one-cup portions, stacked in the freezer, and ready to eat! Make about 3 batches a month and you’re set for life!

$250 – 16-Pod Indoor Hydroponic Garden

I LOVE fresh herbs. Just about every recipe is enhanced by a late addition blast of fresh herbs.

I usually buy the small bags of fresh herbs. For me, the best are the “blends”, so I can buy a tiny amount of rosemary, sage and thyme all in one small plastic sack. However, even with this access, I inevitably wind up with a sad sack of gray wilted herbs, after just a few days. I would LOVE having access to a constantly renewed variety of herbs and spices.

Plus, I just think it looks cool!

$250 – Muse 2

I have a loud mind. It’s a relentless torrent of ideas and information, played over and over, again. I have never found a way to slow down, calm and simply “be present”. I’ve taken classes in meditation. I’ve tried matras and sitting, chilling and listening to myself breathe. Nothing seems to calm the raging river that is my mind.

I can’t help but want to try this, while my feet are in the foot massager, the sound machine whirs away, and I’m spoon-fed fresh mint infused cocoa nib ice cream.

Oh my! I might have some problems …

$1,072.50 – Super Sac

I actually used to have one of these, many moons ago. It was bright red and I loved it. It got lost during a move and I’ve been sad ever since.

If I were ever to get another one, it would most certainly be this one. I mean … come on. It looks like bacon!

Sky’s the Limit

$16,799 – Viking Tuscany Series Stove

I recently bought a stove for my house. It didn’t come with a stove and I needed something temporary, while saving for the dream. My current stove is about $200.00, tiny, flimsy and sad, but it DOES work! I’ve pulled some delicious food off of that thing!

However, if I won the lottery and just had a ludicrous amount of money … I would buy this stove and build an entire house around it. It would all start here …

$2,800 – Keto Retreat in Costa Rica

This just seems like fun. Imagine going to an exotic location, but all the food is catered to your dietary tastes. It’s got fitness training, coaching sessions, yoga classes, hiking, cooking classes, boat tours and more! They even give you food to travel with, so as to skip the awful airplane food, as you head back home.

If I needed any kind of reboot, I would go and spend a week or two at this place.

Sure, this and the stove are pie in the sky type of things, it’s still fun to dream!